Tear Down This Wall of Silence, Dealing With Sexual Abuse in Our Churches by Dale Ingraham with Rebecca Davis

Why do so many of our churches feel like a safe place for sexual offenders, but an unsafe place for survivors of abuse? The wall of silence regarding sexual abuse in our churches must be torn down. Christians must hear.
Tear Down This Wall of Silence answers questions such as:

  • Who are the Enablers who help keep a system of abuse in place?
  • Wrong thinking has kept this sin covered in our churches for decades. What are the truths that need to be proclaimed instead?
  • Churches, families, and friends must not turn away. How do we properly grieve such a tragedy? How can we offer hope?
  • The offender must show fruits of repentance. How can he begin to make restitution?
  • How can the abuse survivor find true safety in Jesus Christ?

Through personal memoir, voices of authoritative professionals, and the words of abuse survivors themselves, Tear Down This Wall of Silence provides a foundational explanation of the problem of sexual abuse in our churches and its aftermath, and offers hope for real change.

About the Authors

Dale Ingraham, a pastor for over thirty years, is also the husband of Faith, a survivor of nine years of incest. Together they founded Speaking Truth in Love Ministries, awakening churches and other ministries to the realities of sexual abuse within our Christian communities and helping them understand how to deal with it.

Rebecca Davis is an author and editor with a passion to help the oppressed. She is on the advisory board of Speaking Truth in Love Ministries.

My Thoughts

Every pastor, every church leader, every children’s ministry director, every teacher must read this book. For too long, sexual abuse has been overlooked in the body of Christ.  It has been spoken of in hushed tones, and the guilty have been allowed to remain in ministry while the victim has been made to feel like the wrong doer for wanting justice.

This book is detailed, compelling, and straight forward.  The author shares his heart as the husband of a victim of sexual abuse at the hands of her father, a Baptist minister.  He shared how his wife was made to feel like the abuser for bringing this great sin into the light, and how many even ostracized the author and his wife for doing so.  The author shares the stories of many throughout this powerful book, heartbreaking stories of those who were forever changed by those who called themselves church leaders, ministers, and workers.

The author also shares steps churches and ministries need to take to better insure that sexual abuse does not occur on their watch, a vital part of this text.  The sin is defined, and those steps of discipline, church and legal, are defined, encouraging churches to be bold enough to report to the police those who have been accused.  He clearly shares that forgiveness does not mean exemption from consequences.

The author does not only write about sexual abuse, but domestic abuse, an issue I experienced in my former marriage.  I went to several pastors over 23 years, and finally one believed me and took the steps to bring healing and safety. The author clearly brings out how churches enable abusers through their, “I can’t believe that person would do that” attitude. 

If you are an abuse survivor, please read this book.  I found it empowering to learn that I was not alone, that there were thousands of others who had traveled my same path, and worse.  Some parts were so very difficult to read, but I promise you will be renewed and strengthened as you turn each page.

I highly encourage every Christian with a heart for children and justice to read this book and then pass it along to another to read.  If you are a pastor, please purchase a copy for you and every board member.  Take the first step in becoming a proactive church in taking a stand against sexual abuse.  I will be passing my copy of this book to my pastor.

I received a free copy of this book from Ambassador International in exchange for my honest review.